So When Did a Size 10 Become Plus Sized?

When I saw all the brouhaha about this photo of model Lizzie Miller in Glamour magazine I was a bit torn. On one hand I thought it was great that this photo of a woman who is a size 12-14 (the size of the average American woman) had garnered lots of positive response from readers wanting more. Yet on the other hand, looking at this lovely woman, it made me sad that she was considered "plus sized."

Our expectation of beauty is so far out of whack I don't know if we can ever find a healthy balance. We have designers who create fashion for women built like 12-year-old boys, not the beautiful curvy creatures we are, and a multi-billion a year magazine and beauty industry that preys on our insecurities and makes us feel bad about ourselves.

Lizzie Miller is 5'11" and weighs 180 pounds. She has a little bit of a tummy, and isn't a stick. She looks like a woman, a very beautiful woman.

In doing a little research I discovered that as a woman who is 5' 9 1/2" tall and wears size 8s and 10s I am considered plus-sized in the modeling world. In my life I only know a couple of women who wear sizes as small as the ones models are expected to wear - and both are about 5'2," not over 5'9" like most models.

Due to the overwhelming positive response Glamour received from running this photo, they are planning in November to run nude photos of several plus sized models.

It's a start, but the real success will come when it doesn't take a "special issue" of a magazine to have women of all sizes and shapes in their pages. When that day comes hopefully it will allow girls to grow up loving themselves, just as they are.

You Can't Go Too Far In Scaring People About Texting And Driving

Okay, so this isn't the most cheery thing to watch, but please do. Studies show that texting while driving is actually more dangerous than driving drunk. If you know a teen driver sit them down and make them watch this.

This PSA was filmed in England. American television companies felt it was too graphic to show here. Two weeks ago a 19-year-old girl on Cape Cod, where I live was killed on our main highway, she crossed lanes, hit an elderly couple (who recovered) and died. How important was that message she just HAD to send at that moment? I doubt it was worth losing her life over. I don't think you can scare teens enough about texting and driving.

Let's make Don't Text And Drive as much a part of our culture as Don't Drink And Drive.

John Hughes: Writer, Director and Teen Whisperer

I wasn't a teen when John Hughes hit the big time, I was a twenty-something and a young mom. But I was young enough and also old enough to know he really got it. I was extremely sad to hear of his passing yesterday at only 59-years-old.

My first Hughes movie was "National Lampoon's Vacation," and from the opening credits with Lindsay Buckingham singing "Holiday Road" I was in love. The writing was so smart, so quick, and so unlike anything we'd been seeing at the movies. I was eight months pregnant with my second son. In August. A hard time to feel anything is funny, but I still remember walking around outside in downtown Chatham, MA on that summer night reciting favorite lines to my then-husband. Lines like, when talking about French kissing, cousin Vicki tells Audrey, "My daddy says I'm the best." Or, Clark flipping out about Wally World being closed: "We watch his program... We buy his toys, we go to his movies... he owes us. Doesn't he owe us, huh? F-----' A right he owes us!"

I read today online a quote from Steve Martin where he said he once asked the filmmaker how long it took him to write "Planes, Trains and Automobiles," the film Martin starred in with John Candy, to which Hughes humbly offered, "I wrote it over a weekend." To writers like me who took 3 years to write a novel, that is unbelievable. To say he was prolific in an understatement.

He will, however be forever known for his teen movies. "The Breakfast Club," "Sixteen Candles," "Ferris Bueller's Day Off and "Pretty in Pink" were spot on in how teens think, relate to their parents and each other.

I've had the pleasure of interviewing Anthony Michael Hall several times, and he counts the films he did with Hughes as something he's forever grateful for. Unlike some former teen stars, he is gracious when fans ask him about those films, he embraces the era, and knows he was part of something iconic.

In this era of practically everyone shouting "Look at me! Look at me!" via Twitter, Facebook and blogs (oops, well, I don't Twitter) Hughes was a very private and humble man. After an incredibly successful run, he kind of bowed out of the movie business to be in Chicago and spend time with his family. Married for 39 years to his high school sweetheart, he truly was one of the good guys.

As I said, I wasn't a teen coming of age in the 80s, but John Hughes was was nonetheless a part of my growing up, as a young adult. I was a stay-at home-mom when Michael Keaton was feeding a baby chili in "Mr.Mom," and I took my young children to see "Home Alone." Hughes' work touched all age groups.

I thank him for countless hours of entertainment, and even though I'm far from 16, for still keeping the hope alive that you never know when your own Jake Ryan might just drive up.

"The Ugly Truth" About Romantic Comedies

I have always loved romantic comedies. Modern movies like "Sleepless in Seattle," "When Harry Met Sally," "You've Got Mail, "Love Actually" and classics like "The Philadelphia Story" are amongst my favorites.

The thing about those movies, and the reason I like them is because the women are smart, accomplished and not desperate to catch a man.

Something has happened in the romcom world though in the last few years, something has made me question my affinity for the genre.

Too many of these movies portray women as whiny, desperate and as jittery as a bunch of poodles. The single women I know (myself included) are none of these things.

I was about sent over the edge by "He's Just Not That Into You." The women were cloying and panicked at trying to get a man. Ginnifer Goodwin made me want to hit my head repeatedly until she stopped being such a weeny. She was attractive, adorable even, but somehow she was under the misapprehension that something was wrong with her because she didn't have a boyfriend.

I've written a novel that's a romantic comedy and my hope that while a little klutzy, my protagonist is neither desperate nor incapable of living a great life on her own.

It's amazing to me after reading about 15 reviews today of "The Ugly Truth" (which I had actually been thinking of seeing, but probably won't now) that reviewer after reviewer talked about how misogynistic it was. And it was written by three women! Why is it so hard for even women to write good roles for women? I've come up with a few rules that I'd like Hollywood to take note of, and hey, if any of them want to take a look at my book, I'd be happy to oblige.

1. No more showing women sitting by a phone, pacing by a phone, doing yoga while staring at a phone waiting for a man to call. We have lives of our own.

2. No more having women desperately dissecting conversations, body language and lack of said calls ad naseum with their equally delusional friends. See above for why.

3. Just because a woman is successful in her job doesn't mean she's. a. frigid b. socially inept c. pathetically lonely. Maybe she LIKES her job and is happy.

4. "You complete me" is a stupid notion and women need to get over it already. Compliment me? Sure, but stop making movies where women are sadly roaming the aisles of supermarkets looking for someone to make a pot roast for because unless they do they're lives are incomplete.

5. Start making movies again about people who are interesting in their own way, all on their own. Sally Albright in "Harry and Sally" was a journalist with lots of friends, as was Annie in "You've Got Mail." And well, no one would ever accuse Katharine Hepburn of being a wimpy woman who'd do anything to snag a guy in... well, any movie.

I want to love romantic comedies again. But I also don't want to feel like my gender is being denigrated and reduced to a ridiculous stereotype. I love love. I just want it to come in a package that doesn't insult my gender or my intelligence.

Icky Things And The Single Girl

Most of the time I am pretty happy being single. As a writer I can work until the wee hours and no one complains. I can read in bed with copious amounts of moisturizer on my feet and no one blanches in disdain, obviously not appreciating the beauty of a smooth instep. Well, the exception might be that creepy foot fetishist, Tanner from "The Bachelorette" who would be way too into it. In general it's a pretty happy life, but there are times a guy could come in handy.

Yesterday I came home from doing errands and as I pulled into my driveway I saw a squirrel lying across my driveway. I pulled into the garage and cautiously walked out, wanting to make sure he wasn't just laying there in wait, having planned the perfectly orchestrated take down of a human wanting to throw a big squirrel rave in my house. When I observed it wasn't an obvious threat I got closer and bent over to get a closer look. There were no obvious wounds, no blood, but it appeared to be dead. This was tough for me because oddly enough, I love squirrels, I think they're awfully cute.

"I so wish I had a husband to take care of this," I muttered to myself as I went to get a shovel. When I tried to scoop up the the poor thing (with a snow shovel no less) I thought I saw her head move and jumped back, startled. As I crouched down close to her, I saw she was still breathing. (I assumed it was a female having run herself ragged for her children)

I ran in and called Wildcare, a group that rescues animals. The volunteer gave me instructions on how to get her to them, but I was scared. I pictured getting this critter in a box, then into my car, and as I drove along it leaping on to my head a la Clark Griswald. As I stood there talking to to Lila at Wildcare, I noticed that the squirrel's eyes had closed. Closer examination showed she'd stopped breathing. I told Lila, and we hung up.

I put an umbrella next to her sheltering from the sun, hoping she'd somehow revive. Within just minutes though I could tell her body had stiffened.

Trading the scoopy snow shovel for a garden one, I buried her in my yard.

As I put away the shovel I thought back to the years when I had a husband to do those things, and then, when I was no longer married, having sons who took care of the creepy crawly stuff. Now that I have to handle all things icky and non by myself, I see that whether it's a dead squirrel, a hinky toaster or a really scary thunderstorm in the middle of the night I really am okay.

It's nice to know I can bury a squirrel, check the oil in my car and put the screens in the windows come summer, but as old fashioned as it may sound, sometimes it might be kind of nice to not have to.

There Will Never Be Anyone Like Michael Jackson

I will never forget sitting in my living room watching Michael Jackson perform at the Apollo Theater for the 25th anniversary of Motown Records. I had never seen anything like it. Those moves were like nothing we'd ever seen. As he moonwalked across that stage I knew I had just seen history being made.






Even though I was a young mom at the time, I was still very into music and bought "Thriller" which I played constantly. I was awed by his talent.

It saddens me that for many young people that the impression they have is of "Wacko Jacko," trials for child molestation and his children shrouded in scarves. I hope that in time the bizarre behavior will fade in memory and that his talent as a song writer, singer, dancer and producer will be what we remember him for.

I don't think Michael Jackson ever had a chance to have a normal life. Thrust into the spotlight by an abusive father, he achieved a level of fame as a child that no one can ever fathom.

He truly did seem like the lonely man at the top. I heard someone say in the midst of this media blitz that the reason he befriended children was because they were the only people he knew didn't want anything from him. They didn't want to hang out with him because he was a star or would be looking for a check. But I wonder, what about their parents?

Yes, he was an odd man, but he was an amazingly talented one. No one will ever know if the horrific charges levied against him were valid, or perhaps just more of the leeching off of a vulnerable man.

It's particularly sad that he died now, just as he was poised to rebound from the trauma of the last few years. We will never know what he would have shown us next, and how he might have, once again changed the landscape of music.

Breaking Up Is Sometimes Pretty Easy To Do

After years of having George Clooney as my make-believe boyfriend, I decided to break up with him. He of course knows nothing about this, hell, he doesn't even know me, so he's taking it very well.

I've been reading about George's newest alleged girlfriend (I say this because we all know you can't believe everything you read) - a 23-year-old cocktail waitress from Miami.

Two things struck me about this news. One, my daughter is 23-years-old and do I really want to be crushing on a man who is close to MY age but dates women (well, girls kind of) who are my daughter's age? Um, no.

The second thing that struck me is that while I admire George's work - both on the professional and humanitarian fronts, it appears from the outside (I do not pretend to know the man so I'm only going by what I've read)that there's a chasm between the personal and professional that I find unappealing.

We all know George could date anyone he wants. And he should date whomever he wants. I just find it interesting that he's rarely if ever linked with women close to his age, or even close to as accomplished professionally.

I'm reminded of a line from the Diane Keaton/Jack Nicholson movie, "Something's Gotta Give." Nicholson plays a man in his 60s who's never dated a woman over 30. When Keaton asks him why he says, "I like to travel light."

Women of a "Certain age," (over 40 perhaps?) have more baggage. We have homes, careers, children maybe and our own strong wills. We can't necessarily drop everything for a summer in Italy or a stint in NYC while a certain movie star makes a movie. Younger women are more malleable and flexible - in oh so many ways.

I like to think though, that those of us who have been around for more than two decades have a lot to offer. We're smart, sassy, funny and confident. I'm not looking to hook up with someone to make my career, to get me connections so I can get my picture in a magazine or walk a red carpet. I just want a partner who's hard-working, passionate, ambitious, funny, caring and smart. Is that really too much to ask for? Don't answer that.

I'm heartbroken that Craig Ferguson recently got married, because he would have been my next choice. Even in my make-believe relationships I have ethics and will not pick a married man as my make-believe boyfriend because within the make-believe there HAS to be a hint of possibility, and in real life I would never date a married man. So I'm taking my time, looking around and thinking about it.

I'm thinking George is really missing out, not with me, (oh all right, I do think I'm sort of a catch:) but by not looking to women who can stand toe to toe and give him a hard time, question him and challenge him. But, that doesn't appear to be what he wants in a woman. So it's time for me to move on and find another make-believe boyfriend, well at least until the real thing comes along.