Saturday, February 20, 2010

Does Tiger Woods Owe Me Anything?

Yesterday I watched the first stage of the Tiger Woods apology tour. I wasn't alone, I heard that trading even slowed on Wall Street as he stood there reading his prepared statement before a select group of family, sponsors and sports management folks.

As I watched I didn't feel cynical, I thought he seemed sincere, and extremely uncomfortable. I could imagine nothing much worse for a guy than standing there, in front of his mother no less, talking about how he had extra martial relationships with not just one, but many women.

But what has struck me as much more interesting than his actual statement has been the inevitable aggressive post mortem that has transpired in the less than 24 hours since.

Angry news people and women he slept with, all critiquing and analyzing body language, weighing every word and examining every nuance with a scrutiny usually reserved for frame by frame examination of the Zapruder film. I half expected to see people with torches and pitchforks running through the street.

"I don't think he's really sorry!"

"Yeah, he seemed rehearsed!"

"He should have just spoken, not read something!"

"I hate him!"

What do these people want? Honestly, if I was ever in that situation I'd want a script too. I cannot imagine anything more humiliating than having to stand before the entire world talking about my sex life.

But other than those personally impacted by his choices - namely his wife, children, mom and co-workers, who does he owe? Certainly not me.

He screwed up. Big time. His behavior is beyond the pale in indiscretion, selfishness and insensitivity to his wife. No one deserves to ever be so disrespected, disregarded and mistreated. Elin and only Elin can decide if she can forgive him and work toward repairing their marriage. That choice is hers alone and is none of my business.

As for the women he cheated with who feel they too deserve an apology and more than they've gotten, I say, really????? Really???? You had relationships with a married man. You're not a victim, you made a choice. Tiger Woods is a celebrity, it's not like you didn't know he was married. To those who have cashed in on the fact that they slept with him I say, well, quid pro quo, ladies, - you have truly screwed each other.

Maybe I'm alone in my thinking, but I don't feel Tiger Woods owes me a thing. I don't deserve, need or want to know how many women he slept with, what they did, where they did it or why. There's only one person who deserves those answers and it's certainly not Oprah, Anderson Cooper or me.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Love it or Hate it, Valentine's Day is Coming

I spent a good part of last week writing an article for the Cape Cod Times about Valentine's Day to run on February 12. The theme was great love stories. I asked several people to tell me about their favorite love song, movie or book. I got a myriad of answers, and I learned something else: lots of people HATE Valentine's Day. I mean REALLY hate it. I have to admit I was a little stunned at the intensity of these feelings.

Admittedly I have had my own strained relationship with the holiday. Mostly I've loved it, but there have been times I've been a bit less than simpatico with the day. Sometimes it served as a reminder of a lost love, or felt like a flashing sign screaming "loser" when strolling the aisles of my local CVS looking to purchase nail polish remover and the latest copy of Glamour, and coming face to face with teddy bears dressed as cupid. There were times, in the past I wanted to rip their furry little heads off.

But no more. I've made peace with Valentine's Day in last few years and have become one of its biggest fans, even in the face of detractors willing to pitch heart shaped candies at my loving, smiling face. I am now leading a one-woman campaign to help people see it isn't just about romance, it's about love. It's not about breaking the bank to buy over-priced roses and jewelry, it's being kind and thoughtful to those you love - whether it's a child, partner, parent or pet.

I think Valentine's Day is the sweetest holiday of the year. There's no big rush to buy everyone you know a gift, no endless to-do list or huge meal to prepare for your entire extended family. It's simple and it' s sweet.

And in my mind, any day that gets us to think about loving one another and being sweet is indeed a very good thing.