You've Got Mail - but uh oh, it might break your heart

I read part of a study by the Nielson company - those ratings folks, that had been commisioned by Google about how we use e-mail, and it was sorta scary.

Apparently 17% of men have secret e-mail accounts their partners know nothing about, 25% of couples have joint e-mail addresses (What?! Strip me of all personal identity now why don't you!) and a large number of men seem to feel it's all right to break up with someone via e-mail. Classy!

As a writer I am well aware of the power of the written word, well, not MY written word necessarily, but some writers written words are quite powerful. What is scary to me is that in our overly communicative world - texting, e-mailing, and IMing, we're really bad at actually TALKING to each other. When we have time to craft a finely tuned e-mail to someone we like all they see is the witty, clever and oh-so-appealing us, and they don't always see the real us (read my previous post for evidence of the real me in action).

We all observed in the movie, "You've Got Mail", how you can fall in love via e-mail, especially if you are facile with the written word. It's incredibly powerful, and in this new world of instant access all the time, it's something to be used judiciously.

I had one of those experiences of being wooed by words, and I have to say it is awfully fun. There is nothing like that feeling of excitement from hearing that little ding and seeing a post from your beloved (or close facsimile thereof) and seeing what wonderful things they have to say to you. It takes fliritng and foreplay to a very different - cerebral cyber level, and creates an anticipation that is unparalelled in my experience. But sadly, as the relationship fades, so does the intensity of those notes, and they just pale in comparrison to what you once received, holding no more passion than your online cable bill. It's bad enough to get dumped in real life, but when your computer stops delivering, well, it's a sad day in html land.

As we progress technologically it's going to take time for our hearts to catch up. Somehow I don't think we were designed to handle all the input coming at us. I think we need to be careful with what we put into cyberspace; we may have the means, but we're only human.