Being Single: Blessing, Curse? Or Maybe A Bit Of Both?

Last night, before I shut down my computer, I came across this blog post about being single written by Lea Lane on the Huffington Post.

Ms. Lane gave some compelling reasons for being single that seemed pretty wonderful.

While I was lying awake at about 4 o'clock this morning, I started writing my own pro/con list on singledom in my head. We'll see how many of the things that seemed so brilliant in the middle of the night I remember.

Pros:
1.When I wake up in the middle of the night I can read, watch a movie or write with no worries about disturbing someone else.
2. There's a freedom to not having to check in with someone else when making plans.
3. Instead of looking for someone else to fix something - whether it's a toaster or a bigger problem, I don't look to someone else to fix it for me. When it's up to you a resourcefulness kicks in forcing you to dig deep. With that I've learned I can do a lot of things I never thought possible.
4. Being on my own has allowed me to spend the time I've needed on my writing. I've written a novel, created this blog, and created a career as a journalist. It's probably not always a good thing, but no one, especially now that my kids are on their own, is pulling me to stop working.
5. At some point most everyone will be alone. Having the skills to do it and be okay is reassuring and confidence building. I will only be with someone if it feels right, I won't do it out of fear of being alone. A friend's mom once told me, "Better to be alone than wish you were alone." There's nothing more lonely that being in a relationship that isn't working. At least when you're single there's always hope something new will come along.

Okay, here on the cons:
1. It can be lonely sometimes to not have one special person to whom you really matter and vice versa.
2. Sometimes two more hands would come in really handy when you're trying to get a lot done. A partner to share to day to day have-tos with, someone to spur you on when you really don't want to clean the garage.
3. There's an intimacy that is missing when you're single. Not sexually necessarily, though that can be an issue for sure, but emotional intimacy that only comes from truly being in it for the long haul with another person.
4. A partner can give you another perspective, another point of view that opens you up to new thoughts and experiences.
5. I believe most of us want someone to be a witness to our lives. Someone who will notice the way we live our life, who we are, and support our dreams. I've got a lot of great friends who are there for me, but you know, it's really just not the same.

As I tossed and turned from 4 until 5, I didn't come up with any definitive answers. Bottom line, I think we're a coupling species and will always be searching for a mate. I just want to make sure I choose the right one so that what I'm giving up is more than made up for by what I'm gaining.