By now we've all seen or heard about "the most dramatic (after rose) ceremony EVER on this season's, "The Bachelor."
The reason everyone seems to hate bachelor contestant Jason Mesnick is because he asked one finalist, Melissa, to marry him, weeks later changed his mind, and asked the girl he let go, Molly for another chance.
It wasn't easy to watch him break young Melissa's heart, but as I watched it I actually had to give him credit for not stringing along someone he didn't feel was a fit. Remember all those dates, the home town visits all happen in about six weeks. Not enough time really to know how the hell you feel about someone.
The other important factor to remember is that these are people who signed up to find love on what is basically a game show. Yes these are real people with real feelings, but they signed up WILLINGLY for this. No arm twisting involved.
I'm going to anger some people (especially women) here, but I truly believe that Jason had to be true to himself, and that all involved are grown-ups. To me it's sad that there's still this expectation that it's a man's job to make this fairy tale come true, and a guy should "man up" already and just marry the girl. The disparaging remarks about Jason being a guy who cries shows how far we haven't come in allowing men to be real people - not knights, not walking wallets just real people. People who should be allowed to show emotions and change their minds. I don't recall "Bachelorette" Deanna catching so much heat when she broke up with her choosen one, Jesse.
Maybe it's being the sister of a brother and mother of two sons that gives me a different perspective about guys. Don't get me wrong - I'm a girl's girl, but I get tired of the double standard: We want respect, independence, financial equality BUT we expect men to appear to not have their own needs, feelings and expectations. AND make a boat load of money to buy us stuff.
In all honesty I had more questions - as a woman - as to why Molly didn't think enough of herself to take a breath and tell Jason they could talk and see where things went. Instead she was like a giddy teen nuzzling and kissing him, so grateful he came back to her. He picked me! I actually expected her to yelp.
I think we need to stop thinking of Melissa as a helpless victim. If women want to be treated as equals we need to not expect that men are supposed to put a ring on it and rescue us. And we have to learn to not feel the need to compete on national TV against 25 other women in hopes that a man will deign to choose us. If you want control in your life you don't choose to go on a show like "The Bachelor" to find a guy. You live your own life and do your own choosing, and realize no one else can complete you or make you happy. That's your job. Finding a great guy is just icing on the cake you already baked for yourself.
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