Jane Austen: The First Great Chick Lit Author

Like many women, I love Jane Austen. And like many fans I am thrilled about the new PBS series starting tonight which will be, over the next several months be showing productions of all six Austen novels.

I think what appeals to me about Austen is her humor, and her incredible ability to create such tension around romance. Well, there's almost always tension around romance, but she makes it entertaining rather than a painful, ice cream-binge-eating-inducing hell.

Over eight years Austen published an amazing six novels: "Pride and Prejudice," "Persuasion," "Emma," "Sense and Sensibility," "Northanger Abbey" and "Mansfield Park." Something a writer like myself can only dream of and look at in awe.

For a woman who never married, she had a keen eye and ear for love, and I think without Elizabeth Bennet there might never have been a Bridget Jones or a Carrie Bradshaw.

If you've never read an Austen novel, you owe it to yourself to give it a shot, if you're not a reader (then you're probably not reading this entry) try a movie. Reading Austen will restore your faith in love, and the ability of it to transform and inspire.

I know after watching the last "Pride and Prejudice" production starring Keira Knightly, that all my jaded feelings about dating and romance went out the window. When Mr. Darcy came walking through the mist, long coat flowing behind, high boots strutting toward the object of his affection, Elizabeth Bennet, I audibly sighed. Who doesn't want someone to love them like that?

I know I do, and I won't ever give up looking for, or writing about it.

Network Time Wasters

Since I work for myself I have become a master at wasting time. Now, I never miss a deadline, and I work very hard, but it's awfully easy to get side-tracked - especially when there's something I really don't want to do, like writing about popular pet names or scents named after celebrities. In those times it takes a heap of discipline to stay on-task. Hunter Thompson once said, "Writing is the flip side of sex – it's good only when it's over." I think he said it well.

So now blogging has become yet another way to not do what I should be doing - shh - don't tell my editors!

Here are just a few of the things I've done in this week to avoid writing:

1. All right, I'll go for the classics - the phone, TV (it's so not fair that "Gilmore Girls" is on twice a day!). And now I've added Nintendo DS to the mix, the good news is I've gotten my Brain Age to 29. If I kept procrastinating at this rate, I will soon have the brain of a zygote.
2. E-mail. For the time I spend crafting witty, inspiring e-mails I could have written "Gone With the Wind" by now. I know it's a form of writing, but it's not what I'm supposed to be doing, ergo, it's more fun.
3. "Doing yoga" which has become code for lying on my floor in workout clothes either playing with my cat or seeing what's under my bed. Which I of course never do anything about.
4. Searching for fun and interesting music online. Sometimes this results in dancing.
5. Reading the screenplay for "Juno" and talking to my brother about how we should, "Diablo Cody-up" our writing.
6.Finding books that I want to write about. Today it was a new Sophie Kinsella novel, "Remember Me," and "Happy For No Reason," a book about how to be happy (in case you were wondering how).
7. Drinking tea. I drink at least two mugs of tea a day. While I wait for the water to boil I look through the paper, look for things in the near-empty fridge to snack on, and perhaps scoop the kitty litter. Later, after drinking a mug of tea the size of my head, I then keep running to the bathroom.
8. I write about pop culture so I spend a lot of time looking for items for my column, but I probably don't need to spend quite as much time as I do looking for items about George Clooney.
9. Going out for coffee on the premise of talking about work with other writers. Right.
10. Working on writing my life list. I did this a lot this week. It's not a bad thing, expect "furthering my writing career" is there on the list waiting to be crossed off.

All right, I have to get back to work now. And I will, right after I make some more tea and watch that Bill Gates video one more time because hey, George Clooney is in it!

Sweat Pants Redux

Okay, so I'm a full-time freelance writer. What this means is that I spend an inordinate amount of time alone in front of my computer. I have designed my work space to somewhat resemble a cubicle to give me the feel of the newsroom, though there are no cubicle mates to share pens, ideas or colds with. I have cork board on the wall to my left with all sorts of random photos, quotes and cards. I think it looks like a cool cube.

Working from home has its advantages and disadvantages. Amongst the advantages is nobody cares how I'm dressed when I interview them on the phone. I however do care, and everyday, after I workout, I shower, put makeup on and dress. Every couple of weeks or so though I feel like being cozy, and after the shower put on comfy pants, sneakers and a sweater. Herein lies a problem.

See, I'm single. Hard to believe that someone so totally awesome and witty could be single I know, but it's true. I also live in a very small seaside town where meeting someone to date isn't always easy. Add to this the working from home aspect of my life, and well, it's not surprising that some days the only living creature I interact with in person is my cat.

Several weeks ago at the post office - the epicenter of any small town, I ran into a very cute guy. We looked at each other and knew we'd met but couldn't place each other. Being the charmer I am I said something pithy like, "I know I know you, just can't remember how." It ended up I had interviewed him a couple of years ago for a story. I did the subtle glance for the ring, didn't see one, and thought hmmm, I wonder if he IS married?

The only not-so-great thing about the encounter was I was in fact wearing comfy pants and sneakers. Yeah, so not how I want to look when meeting a cute guy.

I forgot about the encounter, and a couple of weeks later I ran to the corner store to grab something for dinner. There he was. And there was I. In my comfy pants. Again. Why hadn't I run into him the day before when I was wearing my Lucky jeans and cute blazer? We exchanged pleasantries, I prayed he didn't remember I was wearing the same velour pants he'd seen me in before, but there was no way of knowing.

So, wouldn't you know, another two weeks later, on a Saturday at the dump, and guess who I see? Yes, Mr.I'm-Probably-Judging-You-But You-Wouldn't-Know-It-Because-I'm-Way-Too-Polite. And of course, since you don't exactly dress up to recycle and throw trash away, I was wearing what must have made me look like a woman in desperate need of a telethon thrown on her behalf to get her some new clothes.

By the fourth time I ran into him, dressed in, well, I'm sure you know, I just gave up. It's a lost cause. I don't even care anymore. To him I am sure I am etched in his mind as the woman who only wears sweatpants, and that's okay. If he can't beyond the sweatpants he'd probably never get past all the Hello Kitty stuff around my house either.

Well,I've got to run to the store now to get something for dinner. It's been a rainy, dreary, January day, and I've been home writing all day. I bet you'll never guess what I'm wearing.

Award Crisis

I'm reeling. Completely beside myself. Over the last couple of days it's become evident that due to the Writer's Guild strike, there will be no televised Golden Globe Awards ceremony this year.

This is just the beginning folks, if those studio honchos don't get their act together and resume negotiating with the striking writers. Now I'm not a WGA member, I hope to be one day, and it seems to me that writers wanting a piece of the Internet and DVD pie is not unreasonable.

If you're not into "Award Season" this may not seem too serious, but say they decided to cancel the Super Bowl, yeah, maybe now you understand my pain.

What will I miss by not being able to watch Golden Globes this year? Here are my top five losses:

5.Watching E! all day long, listening to catty remarks by "experts" for hours on end. Sure there's nothing really happening, but it doesn't stop me from sitting there snacking away in my sweatpants.
4. Seeing how celebrities deal with real-life issues like someone asking them a stupid question, searing heat or someone standing on the train of their dress. I wouldn't handle any of it at all well, which is why I'm happy to be on my couch.
3. Deciding which interviewer won't be invited back next year. We've been through Issac Mizrahi feeling up Scarlett Johansson, Star Jones talking about herself more than the people she's interviewing and Joan Rivers being completely clueless. It may have a certain cruelty to it, but it's fun.
2. The clothes. I love to see what everyone wears - the good, the bad and the Bjork.
1. Since the Golden Globes is a more laid-back event where they serve food and alcohol, it's always fun to see how drunk folks get,(and who gets drunk) and who actually eats.

So there you have it. Let us all hope that this strike gets resolved before there's any more serious fall-out, like no Academy Awards and no E! Fashion Emergency after-show. Life would be just a little bit bleaker.

My name is Candy and I am an...

I saw a segment on Weekend Today about addiction today, and I think I have a problem.

After seeing several women talk about their addiction, I decided that I too have an addiction. To lip gloss.

It's not something I'm proud of, but I suppose it's time I came clean.

I don't know what it is, the slippery moist feel on my lips, the taste (MAC tastes like vanilla - SO enticing) the way on a windy day my hair sticks to my lips - so attractive, or maybe it's ceased to be a choice, and become something I can't not do. That thought is a little scary.

Like many with addictions I secure my source. I have a Chap Stick by my bed, tubes of gloss in my purse, car and bathroom. If I can't put it on I can feel myself getting antsy, my lips getting dryer and dryer until it becomes all I can think about. I whip out my gloss during meetings, at church, while driving and shopping.

The good news is apparently there is no downside to this affliction, but I suppose it's a really good thing that I caught this in time. Before I move on to harder substances like facial masks and leave-in hair conditioner.

Am I Ready For My Close-Up?

All right, so today I made my first television appearance - ever. I'd never even stood outside the "Today" show waving madly as Al Roker looks on fearing for his life.

I was pretty nervous about it - visions of Albert Brooks in "Broadcast News" ran through my head. You know the scene - he finally gets his big break to anchor the network news and then the flop sweat starts. And it goes, and goes, and goes. He sweats more than you ever thought was humanly possible without collapsing from dehydration. Hair and make-up people scramble during commercial breaks trying to mop up the sweat and blow-dry his shirt to no avail, his appearance is a disaster.

I'm happy to say that no blow-drying was required, and I think I did all right. I was on to talk about my new-found-passion, life lists, because well, if I don't have a book of my own to sell I might as well sell someone else's - "The Next Thing On My List" by Jill Smolinkski.

This was just a local cable access show, but good practice I think for the time in the future when I do have a book to sell and am finally invited to "The View."

"Oprah," of course, is the ultimate goal, but I have this fantasy of sitting at that "View" table with Barbara, Joy, Whoopi and yes, I guess... Elisabeth.

Aside from the momentary whooshing of my heartbeat in my ears when the cameras started I think I stayed on point, and I didn't evoke one, "That's what she said" joke even when there was a perfectly good opening.

So essentially I proved to myself that I can be on television (something to check off the life list)and in all seriousness, it felt good to do something that scared me a little. Scared in a good way, not in that I-heard-a-scary-noise-and-why-is-my-cat-looking-freaked-out way.

So maybe over the next couple of days you can find something to scare yourself a bit - not big-scary, but push yourself just a little out of your comfort zone. Next for me? I'm not sure, but I do have a new tube of red lipstick taunting me to wear it out. I have to go to the dump tomorrow, who knows, maybe I'll wow the seagulls.

New Year, New Me?

I have ambivalent feelings about January 1 every year. Do the things I planned to change about myself start today, or tomorrow? I just never know what to do.

I decided this year because I was inspired by author Jill Smolinski's book, "The Next Thing on My List." (www.jillsmolinski.com) to create a life list rather than make resolutions. A life list just sounds more fun, doesn't it?

The thing is, I already hit a glitch. I had written that I wanted to say "yes" more than I say "no" (not in an attempt to become slutty or anything, but to encourage myself to stop staying home and writing or knitting, (or eating semi-sweet chocolate chips by the handful)and as they say in dating lingo, "get myself out there."

So, I was out today and someone I know asked me out. Like a deer in headlights I froze because this isn't someone I have ever thought of in that way. We're as mismatched as my pathetic excuse for luggage, he's nice enough, but so not my type. and I'm certain I'm not his. So, I found myself composing little white lies - I have converted to Judaism recently and can't date a non-Jew, I have a limp that I'm self-conscious about (damn! he saw me walking perfectly well!)I'm so busy grooming my cat that I have no time for dates... it was quite sad. In the end I decided to go with the classic - "Thanks so much, but I recently started dating someone and am no longer single. but thanks for asking, I'm flattered!"

January 1 and I've already failed on my life list mission.

Yeah, I'm so going to hell. Alone.