Tuesday, January 1, 2008

New Year, New Me?

I have ambivalent feelings about January 1 every year. Do the things I planned to change about myself start today, or tomorrow? I just never know what to do.

I decided this year because I was inspired by author Jill Smolinski's book, "The Next Thing on My List." (www.jillsmolinski.com) to create a life list rather than make resolutions. A life list just sounds more fun, doesn't it?

The thing is, I already hit a glitch. I had written that I wanted to say "yes" more than I say "no" (not in an attempt to become slutty or anything, but to encourage myself to stop staying home and writing or knitting, (or eating semi-sweet chocolate chips by the handful)and as they say in dating lingo, "get myself out there."

So, I was out today and someone I know asked me out. Like a deer in headlights I froze because this isn't someone I have ever thought of in that way. We're as mismatched as my pathetic excuse for luggage, he's nice enough, but so not my type. and I'm certain I'm not his. So, I found myself composing little white lies - I have converted to Judaism recently and can't date a non-Jew, I have a limp that I'm self-conscious about (damn! he saw me walking perfectly well!)I'm so busy grooming my cat that I have no time for dates... it was quite sad. In the end I decided to go with the classic - "Thanks so much, but I recently started dating someone and am no longer single. but thanks for asking, I'm flattered!"

January 1 and I've already failed on my life list mission.

Yeah, I'm so going to hell. Alone.

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