Thursday, January 17, 2008

Working Out (More Than BreakingUp) Is Hard To Do



So all right, after a couple of month's hiatus from the gym I returned yesterday. I wasn't being a total slug during my absence, I did walk every day, and I did some yoga, but mostly I spent ridiculous amounts of time right here, sitting, in front of a computer screen. Somehow that does not create a six pack or a bottom like Kim Kardashian's.

I was sort of excited to go and see my gym friends, and hoped I wouldn't be too shamed by the new softer version of myself. Most everyone was lovely, save one woman who snarled, "Haven't seen YOU in a long time!" I wanted to create some horrific tale to tell her that would make her feel guilty, but I thought of "The Secret" and didn't want to wreak havoc on my life by telling her that I hadn't been there because I'd been battling a rare plague,I was scared the Universe might think I wanted the plague.

All was going well, I was enjoying my time, I was working my triceps, glutes and biceps, then out of the corner of my eye I saw him. I couldn't quite believe it, but then he walked past me and I couldn't deny it. It was the guy who comes to the gym in tiny bordering on inappropriate mesh shorts, I think every gym has one, and it's kind of disturbing. Mostly because it's never the guy who looks like a Spartan, no it's always the guy who looks more like the Pillsbury Dough Boy - pale and squishy.

I did my best to avoid him, but then he came over to where I was lying down stretching, and with his back to me, he bent over. From my prone position I saw things that will give me nightmares for weeks.

It's going to take some courage to go back to the gym now,but it's worth it to try to get some tone back and to not have to squeeze into my skinny jeans.

I'm just going to have to steal myself for whatever shows up. Or falls out.

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