Network Time Wasters

Since I work for myself I have become a master at wasting time. Now, I never miss a deadline, and I work very hard, but it's awfully easy to get side-tracked - especially when there's something I really don't want to do, like writing about popular pet names or scents named after celebrities. In those times it takes a heap of discipline to stay on-task. Hunter Thompson once said, "Writing is the flip side of sex – it's good only when it's over." I think he said it well.

So now blogging has become yet another way to not do what I should be doing - shh - don't tell my editors!

Here are just a few of the things I've done in this week to avoid writing:

1. All right, I'll go for the classics - the phone, TV (it's so not fair that "Gilmore Girls" is on twice a day!). And now I've added Nintendo DS to the mix, the good news is I've gotten my Brain Age to 29. If I kept procrastinating at this rate, I will soon have the brain of a zygote.
2. E-mail. For the time I spend crafting witty, inspiring e-mails I could have written "Gone With the Wind" by now. I know it's a form of writing, but it's not what I'm supposed to be doing, ergo, it's more fun.
3. "Doing yoga" which has become code for lying on my floor in workout clothes either playing with my cat or seeing what's under my bed. Which I of course never do anything about.
4. Searching for fun and interesting music online. Sometimes this results in dancing.
5. Reading the screenplay for "Juno" and talking to my brother about how we should, "Diablo Cody-up" our writing.
6.Finding books that I want to write about. Today it was a new Sophie Kinsella novel, "Remember Me," and "Happy For No Reason," a book about how to be happy (in case you were wondering how).
7. Drinking tea. I drink at least two mugs of tea a day. While I wait for the water to boil I look through the paper, look for things in the near-empty fridge to snack on, and perhaps scoop the kitty litter. Later, after drinking a mug of tea the size of my head, I then keep running to the bathroom.
8. I write about pop culture so I spend a lot of time looking for items for my column, but I probably don't need to spend quite as much time as I do looking for items about George Clooney.
9. Going out for coffee on the premise of talking about work with other writers. Right.
10. Working on writing my life list. I did this a lot this week. It's not a bad thing, expect "furthering my writing career" is there on the list waiting to be crossed off.

All right, I have to get back to work now. And I will, right after I make some more tea and watch that Bill Gates video one more time because hey, George Clooney is in it!