Top Five Things Celebrities Shouldn't Do When They Date Each Other

I e-mailed my editor and friend, Bill O'Neill, this video because I sort of couldn't believe it and needed someone else to share it. He wrote me back and and said that celebrities should never star in a boyfriend or girlfriend's music video because it will last forever while the relationship probably won't. It got me thinking that there are a few things celebrities shouldn't do since their relationships seem to last about as long as a pesky virus.

So here are my all time top five don'ts for celebrities who insist on dating each other:

1. Don't do an interview together with Barbara Walters. Years later when you're married to other people you have to see tape of you cooking together, taking walks and talking about your future, which was over about as soon as the film crew was on it's way back to L. A. Case in point: Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck.

2. Don't make movies together. Your judgement is clouded when you're crazy in love. Again, look to Beniffer 1 - "Gigli" and "Jersey Girl" two for two on the sucking, almost career ending scale of bad movies.

3. As mentioned earlier, don't star in a music video. Especially one where you're rubbing lotion on the performer's butt. Ooops, you're three for three Ben and Jen! It should be interesting explaining you undoing Jennifer Lopez's bikini to little Violet, Ben, your daughter with Jennifer Garner.

4. Tattoos. Just think "Winona Forever" becoming "Wino Forever," Johnny Depp's clever switcheroo on his arm. Especially don't get wedding rings tattooed. You can't ever take them off, nor can you dramatically throw them away, not that I would know anything about this.

5. Don't agree to star in a reality show to show how great your relationship is. If you do, have it put it in your contract that the network or cable outlet pays for the divorce because it's almost guaranteed you won't survive.

I think the best thing is for there to be just one celeb in a relationship to keep it balanced and sane. The math you'd need to do to factor in the space needed for two huge celebrity egos is beyond my capabilities (which, granted isn't saying much). Just as China has their one child law, I think there should be a one star law.

All right, there's one exception:Joanne Woodward and Paul Newman. But I'm betting there's not one tattoo on either one of them.