All right, so I do not really believe in being Cinderella, not completely anyway, but I do like the idea of going off into the sunset with a man who is incredible and deserving of me. But, I now find there's a glitch in that plan because of a new study that was just released. Researchers say that the longer you are in a relationship the more annoying your partner becomes to you. Apparently all those little traits that seemed so endearing when you were just dating later become a reason to get stabby.
This is more than a little discouraging, especially for someone who's been single for a while and has high hopes for a something a heck of a lot better than someone who has a shelf life of say, a year, and then becomes someone you'd drop a toaster in the bathtub on.
See, the thing about dating is that everyone is on their best behavior. I've long said people don't send themselves out on those initial dates, they send an ambassador of themselves. That person is infinitely patient, laughs at all your jokes and finds the fact that you snort when you laugh adorable. Yeah, six months from now they will be ready to send you packing for that snort.
I've dated people who seemed so wonderful in the beginning, and then, a few months down the road, you realize you're not dating the same person anymore. The guy who said he had no problem with going to romantic comedies with you has suddenly developed an extreme allergy to Katherine Heigl, Julia Roberts and Reese Witherspoon. And I have to say, the super-late-nights he has to spend at work seem more annoying than noble, and where I once might have held dinner and waited patiently, soon become leftovers in the fridge and me fast asleep.
I'm not sure what the solution is to this because it seems sort of inevitable that over time once the cascade of hormones has calmed down, you get back to using your brain again. It's only then that you see things that were always there, but you just chose to ignore.
Having grown up with the image of that lovely Disney "Cinderella," I have to say a part of me still holds out hope not for Prince Charming, but for a guy who makes me laugh, is there when I need him, and knows what to do about that strange smell my car is making.
And it's not all one sided. I am good for a lot of laughs - at me, not with me, I make really good onion soup, know how to knit super-awesome scarves and make the best "Scene It' or "Trival Pursuit" partner you could want. What more could you ask for?
Perhaps the secret is figuring out what's really important, and whether or not focusing on the small annoyances is worth your energy. I am a big believer in picking my battles and not sweating the small stuff. Unless of course that small stuff somehow involves anything to do with persistant whistling, toe nail clipping in bed, or teeth picking with a toothpick or matchbook. Hey. I'm only human.
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