In Celebration of Mothers

I love being a writer, it's my passion, but it pales in comparison to how I feel about being a mom.

My three children are my favorite people in the world, and I love them more than anything. I feel very lucky indeed that I really like my kids as well as love them.

It wasn't always that way, sometimes in the tween and teen years there were moments of wanting to be anywhere else, but the angst was always worth it.

It's not easy being a mom. There's lots of hard work, and not too many accolades. It's a pretty thankless job. If you're in it for the awards you'll surely be disappointed.

A friend of mine told me a couple of weeks ago that when she announced to her family that on second thought, she was going on the family hiking trip, her son was not pleased and said she was a "kill joy."

Mothers are often looked at as the kill joys of the family because we're the ones who want to make sure teeth are brushed, homework is done, that you eat your vegetables and say thank you.

I love being at the stage of life I'm at because it's no longer my job to tell my kids what they can and cannot do. Sometimes they ask my advice, but I no longer have to be on them about anything. Well, except picking up all the stuff they leave everywhere. I will never cease to be amazed how long all of them can walk past a pile of their stuff on the stairs floor and counters for days at time, oblivious to what's right there.

If I had to do it all over again I think I'd lighten up. A lot. I was reading on blogs (mostly written by men) this week about how horrible it was that Suri Cruise still uses a baby bottle at two-years-old. One of my sons used a bottle until he was about three and a half. He went on to be an A student, captain of his high school football team and graduated college with honors last year. As a very young mom I was influenced and intimidated by the pediatrician and other moms who told me he was "too old" for the bottle. Really, who cares? I have yet to see any child go off to college with a bottle.

The same son hated nursery school, but I kept insisting he go. I had worked at the school and knew it was good, but again, who cares in the long run if you're a successful nursery school student? When he was applying to college it never came up.

Maybe part of the reason moms appear to be kill joys is because we take the job very seriously, and if we're not hard enough on ourselves there are plenty of other people willing to take a shot. Other moms can sometimes be just an older version of mean girls waiting to let you know how you and/or your child aren't good enough.

If I was to become a mom now it certainly wouldn't be anything goes, but I'd realize now, more than when I was 21, what's really important. I wouldn't stress about potty training, bottles, blankies and binkies. Life is hard, there are times I could use a good binkie, and if I had one I certainly wouldn't want anyone taking it away.

Maybe this Mother's Day the best gift we can get is the one only we can give to ourselves. How about this year we tell ourselves that we're good enough just the way we are. It would make Mr. Rogers very proud.